


Why

by hunters_retreat



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Forbidden Love, M/M, Realization
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-08
Updated: 2014-04-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 16:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1435792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was more than enough to build a kingdom on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Why

He looked up into the warmth and wondered how he hadn’t known that this was the center of his universe. From the day they had met, his passion had been geared toward this, though he’d hardly given it a second thought. He buried his amusement and affection in careful banter and his fear and concern in gruff orders and standoffish behaviors.

He looked up into the warmth and wanted to touch it, to feel the way it slid into his soul and he wondered how it was that he’d never touched in reverence even though it was this warmth that filled his being. The sun could be shrouded in grey and he would never want for the heat of it, with this warmth so close to him.

He looked up into the warmth and wondered, how had he not known? How had he looked upon this as anything less that majestic? Anything less than magic?

He knew. He could lie to himself if he chose, but in his heart he knew. There were rules of the court, rules that said a Prince could never lay hands on a servant. Rules that said even if he wanted to, he had to think of marriage and an heir because this thing between them could very well be the beast that destroyed Camelot if he didn’t take care of it himself.

When he looked at the other man, looked at the warmth of his eyes and the welcome of his smile, there was nothing else he could think to say but, “Why?”

Why do you still care for me when I’ve treated you like this? Why do you still care when you know that I can never be what you want me to be? But he remembered words spoken not too long before, “when you are king, things can be different.” He knows enough now to wonder who those words had been meant to sooth now. The prince who thought he loved where he shouldn’t? Or the servant who already loved too well. It was all too clear now, to the Prince, the Prince who had grown to understand where his heart lay and just how easily it would be for his servant to squash it under his feet.

Merlin smiled as if that were all the answer there was. Arthur smiled in return, because maybe it was. Maybe this was all they needed, the two of them knowing, loving where no one else could judge.

“Come along Your Highness.” He said as he offered Arthur a hand up from the ground where they’d been resting. “We wouldn’t want to keep the King waiting.”

He would never be free of the demands of his kingdom, never free of the need to be more than he was. But he would not be the man his father had become. He would never be so cold or cruel or narrow minded. He would never be surrounded by people who feared to speak the truth to him, never surrounded by sycophants and fools. Because he had Merlin, who spoke his mind even when he shouldn’t, who reminded Arthur of the prat he sometimes was and the man he hoped to someday become.

When he thought of the future, thought of the sort of King he wanted to be, he never questioned if he could. And why was that? He looked at the other man’s smile again.

Merlin’s smile really was the answer. It was the center of his world. It was more than enough to build a kingdom on.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Found this on my computer but I have no idea when it was written or what for. I think it was written sometime in 2009.


End file.
